Basketball Jones

I got a basketball jones, oooh-oh ooh.

B-Ball Haiku

OT is Killing

dynamic Motown team fails

Sasha's ruddy cheeks

That game was really something special. The kid is a beast. A muthafuckin' beast.

Um, yeah, I'll have the giant ribs, please.

The Modern Stone Age Family Museum opened to boffo notices this weekend. They scored particularly high on the scale of National Socialist-like propaganda.

Joe Goebbels ain't got nuthin' on these peckerwoods. And I quote...

"If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State." -- Joseph Goebbels, German Minister of Propaganda, 1933-1945

Pardon me, I'm a little gassy.

This is an excellent read on the price of petrol and the factors which determine where we're headed.

...Tip o' the tank to Timothy T

Sports Update

Well, the Tribe is certainly having a hard time with the BoSox this week, but holy crap, Boston is playing lights out. They're at a .706 winning percentage this morning and 11.5 games up on Baltimore with the Yankees at 14.5 behind.

It's going to be a long summer in the Bronx. Heh, indeed.

And speaking of things holy, The Chosen One is really playing to his potential n'est pas? The whole team has contributed very effectively throughout the playoffs save Larry Hughes.

Great play from Daniel Gibson last night.

Right, Rasheed?...

Oh, and here is a nice and gloomy article from the Detroit Free Press.

Perle before swine

I hate this fuckwit with all of my being.

Wacky Dutch T.V. shows

And we thought that the Fox Network came up with some wild programming ideas.

Check this one out coming out of an Amsterdam based channel.

Huh-hoh!

I was saddened to hear of Charles Nelson Reilly's passing this morning. He was "out" in an era that was oddly more accepting of gay celebs than today's climate, doncha think?

It's just not fashionable to be queer in Hollywood any longer, unless of course you're a lipstick lesbian.

Regardless, bon voyage to you, Charles.

XTC

Here's to one of the greatest bands ever...

From Urgh! A Music War

Respectable Street

Heard the neighbour slam his car door

don't he realise this is respectable street

What d'you think he bought that car for

'cos he realise this is respectable street

Now they talk about abortion

in cosmopolitan proportions to their daughters

as they speak of contraception

And immaculate receptions on their portable
Sony entertainment centres

Now she speaks about diseases

and which sex position pleases best her old man

Avon lady fills the creases

when she manages to squeeze in past the caravans

that never move from their front gardens.

It's in the order of their hedgerows

it's in the way their curtains open and close

it's in the look they give you down their nose

all part of decency's jigsaw I suppose

Sunday church and they look fetching

Saturday night saw him retching over our fence

bang the wall for me to turn down

I can see them with their stern frown

as they dispense the kind of look that says

they're perfect.

Monica Goodling

I've been waiting to hear and see what this chick was like for weeks now and I've not been disappointed.

She's got the Minnie fucking Mouse voice, the demur christopath manner and she's been coached within an inch of her walnut sized brain to feign truthiness.

She's a right wicked trifecta of incompetence. I wouldn't hire this gash to clean my garage.

If this is a representative slice of our government's DOJ, I need a drink. Stat.

It's my blog..

...and I'll laugh if I want to.

There's no earthly reason that I'm posting this picture save the fact that it cracks me up everytime.

That is all.

Pre-Friday long weekend random ten

This morning's drive to the workplace rocked hard. As Spoon would say, "like atom bombs and blunt razors"

Baby I've Changed--Fountains of Wayne

Daddy-O--Fleshtones

Over My Head--Pere Ubu

I'm Your Villian--Franz Ferdinand

Milkshake Mademoiselle--Jerry Lee Lewis

Jonathon Fisk--Spoon

Your Algebra--The Shins

In Bloom--Nirvana

Ashes of American Flags--Wilco

Crawl Through the Dark--The Von Bondies

I just knew it

Ted Rall is an Al-Qaeda operative

It puts the Lotion in the Basket

It occurred to me earlier this evening after I had seen another report on the missing soldiers in Iraq that your govmint is playing with our collective emotions yet again.

Remember how in Silence of the Lambs the female Senator whose girl had been abducted was praised by Hannibal Lecter for using and reusing the name of her daughter in her televised pleas for mercy? How that by repeatedly using her name she humanized the girl to her killer so that he might have pity?

Remember?

The Cheney administration is pulling the same stunt using these three dudes as cloying bait to make us forget that dozens of other soldiers and Iraqi citizens have been maimed or killed while we're "searching" for these three lost...little...lambs.

Are these guys more important or special that the last 3 guys that died in Iraq? And if so, why?

Listen, in the movie the girl survives her captivity by Jaime Gumm, (beautifully played by Ted Levine I might add), and is rescued by the ever resilient Jodie Foster. However, in reality, the lambs do get slaughtered and no one ever comes to their aid until it's too late.

Truly, I mean these brave guys no ill respect. But they're being played for pawns just like Jessica Lynch and Pat Tillman have been previously marketed to us.

These are shameful feckin' bastards running our country. Shameful.

Another Ted

No, not another Haggard post. This guy.

Here is the face of the modern Republican Party

The argument has always been that all politicians are hypocrites, cheats and liars. No doubt true. The difference however between us and them is that they moralize and scold the rest of the world for transgressions they see as harmful while acting out and projecting acts of depravity FAR more offensive than say, a consensual tete a tete with a grown women named Monica.

If the GOP still has 25% support in this country there remains only one conclusion...25% of your neighbors, co-workers, friends and fellow motorists are fucking insane.

Abu Gonzales

Before we send li'l AG Al to the Hague for aiding and abetting the war crimes of the Cheney regime, let's give him a swift kick in the grapes first by ways of impeachment.

Go here and sign the petition.

Last time, I swear

I know, oh yes, I know that I've promised there would be no more post-Falwellian posts, but I just can't resist this one last trip to the well of bloggity goodness.

Christopher Hitchens is a smug asshole. He is however, damn funny and terribly eurdite on nearly all things political, cultural and religious.

In case you haven't seen it, check out his chat with dreamboat Anderson Cooper from yesterday's broadcast of 360.

It's priceless.

Oh this is fuggin' rich

Fred "The Cryptkeeper" Phelps and his goons are going to picket Falwell's funeral. Seriously, check it out.

And no, I will not link to godhatesfags.com

Westboro Baptist Church
(WBC Chronicles - Since 1955)
3701 SW 12th St. Topeka, Kansas 66604 785-273-0325 GodHatesFags.com
Tuesday, May 15,2007
NEWS RELEASE

WBC to picket the funeral of Rev. Jerry Falwell - at
Thomas Road Baptist Church, Lynchburg, Virginia -
in religious protest and warning:

"God is not mocked!,, Gal. 6:7. God Hates Fags! & Fag-Enablers!
Ergo, God hates Jerry Falwell, Billy Graham, Pat Robertson, and all such Arminian heretic preachers - from fundamentalist evangelicals to openly gay Episcopalians and pedophile Catholics - all of whom have created the Satanic Sodomite Zeitgeist wherein America has irreversibly gone the way of Sodom.

There is little doubt that Falwell split Hell wide open the instant he died. The evidence is compelling, overwhelming, and irrefragable. To wit:

1 Falwell was a true Calvinistic Baptist when he was a young preacher in Springfield, Missouri; and sold his soul to Free-Willism (Arminianism) for lucre.

2. Falwell bitterly and viciously attacked WBC because of WBC9s faithful Bible preaching - thereby committing the unpardonable sin - otherwise known as the sin gainst the Holy Ghost.

3. Falwell warmly praised Christ-rejecting Jews, pedophile-condoning Catholics, money-grubbing compromisers, practicing fags like Mel White, and backsliders like Billy Graham and Robert Schuler, Etc. All for lucre - making him guilty of their sins.

I Heart Cognitive Dissonance

I was watching the teevee last night and that Wendy's ad came on that uses the Violent Femmes classic, "Blister In the Sun".

It's nearly impossible to imagine some Marketing Exec explaining how this song could possibly sell burgers, but just to confirm my assertion, let's examine the lyrics, shall we?...

Blister In The Sun

When I'm out walking I strut my stuff yeah I'm so strung out

I'm high as a kite I just might stop to check you out

let me go on

like I blister in the sun

let me go on big hands I know you're the one

body and beats I stain my sheets I don't even know why

my girlfriend she's at the end she is starting to cry

let me go on

like I blister in the sun

let me go on

big hands I know you're one

Oh well, I guess if Iggy can sell Carnival Cruises and DEVO can sell Swiffers, the drug laced mastabatory fantasies of Gordon Gano can peddle Doubles with cheese.

One last shot at Falwell

Teletubby responds to the passing of Liberty University's founder shedding his mortal coil...

May. 16, 2007 Eight years ago the Rev. Jerry Falwell warned parents that BBC children's television star Tinky Winky was a hidden symbol of homosexuality. Falwell died Tuesday at 73, and the world wanted to talk to Tinky Winky.

"They're calling again, again, again," he said by phone from his home in Islington, in London. A spokesman said the former "Teletubbies" costar got more than 100 calls from reporters in the hour following news of Falwell's death.

"Oh dear, it's easy to say the wrong thing here," he said. "Tinky Winky sad whenever someone dies, but ..." He left it hanging there.

In a 1999 article in his National Liberty Journal headlined "Tinky Winky Comes Out of the Closet," Falwell pointed out that Winky could be taken as representing gays.

"He is purple -- the gay pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a triangle -- the gay pride symbol," Falwell wrote. "The character, whose voice is that of a boy, has been found carrying a red purse in many episodes and has become a favorite character among gay groups worldwide."
In the resulting media firestorm, gay-rights activists called for Winky to come out while Christian groups demanded the BBC fire him so that he couldn't, in Falwell's words, "role-model the gay lifestyle."

"It was traumatizing, really," says Winky, who now owns a holistic healing center and makes occasional appearances on British TV. "I'm a very private Teletubby. I just wanted to get away, go over the hills and far away. But when you're 7 feet tall and purple with an antenna on your head and a TV screen in your belly, where are you going to go?"

Winky says he tried to contact Falwell after the article came out, but the evangelist wouldn't take his calls. "I wanted to know why he didn't talk to me first," Winky says. "It's not like I'm hard to reach. Have the pinwheel call me. But really I just wanted to clap him on the head with Tinky Winky bag."

The star never has clarified his sexual orientation, insisting on his privacy and denying rumors over the years that he had affairs with two of his costars on the 1997-2001 show, the male Dipsy and the female Po.

"We love each other very much," he says. "Big hug. But it's not like that. It was a kids show, know what I mean? And this Falwell guy and his followers wanted to turn us into something else. We weren't modeling a gay lifestyle and we weren't trying to corrupt anyone's kids. We were just kids ourselves, really. Give us a little Tubby toast or custard and a film of some kids washing clothes or something, that's all we needed. We didn't give a shit about modeling a lifestyle."

Tinky Winky sounds angry. The wounds are still raw.

"I'm just practicing my craft, working for the kids, and all at once the tabloids are everywhere on me," he says. "I couldn't even go out. Was it a gay club? Was I talking to a woman? It was bollocks."

Winky chuckles. "I must say, though," he says, "without getting into too many details, we had a girl in the group who ran around this kids show yelling, 'Cooter! Cooter!' And I'm the gay one? Do me a favor."

Through a spokeswoman, Po declined to comment for this article.

Winky says the Teletubbies stay in touch, and he remains friends with both Dipsy, who owns a nightclub in West London where Winky is often seen, and Po. Winky says he and Laa-Laa never really got along during the show's run, but, "We're fine now. We've come to appreciate each other."

Asked about Falwell's death, Winky turns serious and chooses his words carefully. "I'm not going to pretend I'm sadder than I am," he says. "There were late nights during the dark times when I wished to hear news like this. I'd be lying if I denied that. I don't feel that way anymore. I like to think I've grown over the years, gotten past all that pain.

"But at the end of the day, I'm not terribly sad, and I think a lot of people feel the same way. Jerry Falwell was a divisive person, a hateful person, and what I've tried to be all about, in the Teletubbies days and since then, has been love. I've got to keep it that way. I don't want anybody feeling good about it when it's my time for Tubby bye-bye."

30 days in the hole

In my continuing effort to push a national 12-Step program aimed at Amerika's addiction to gun violence, I give you this poignant letter from the folks over at the The Brady Campaign.

The most jarring excerpt from the piece is, "Today marks the one-month anniversary since the tragedy at Virginia Tech. On that day, 33 people were killed by guns, including the shooter, and since that day, approximately 2,430 more Americans have been killed with guns. And for every death, there are another two or three seriously injured.

Go sign their petition...

And not a moment too soon

Yeah, that's right, fat fuck Falwell is stone cold dead.

But wait a minute Bob, don't you have any compassion for the man just out of respect for sheer human kindness?

Ummm, no, nada, zilch. Not for someone who, over the years, said:

"AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals”

"If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being”

“Textbooks are Soviet propaganda”

“(re: 9/11 attacks) "...throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools, the abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked and when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad...I really believe that the pagans and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who try to secularize America...I point the thing in their face and say you helped this happen."”

There are lots more of Jerry's greatest hits here.

REST IN TURMOIL, MUTHAFUCKA!

SAB redux

Here's another episode in my developing separated at birth theme. This one, sadly, is entirely more disquieting.

As I've grown increasingly intolerant of EC's career and marital choices in the past few years I wondered what was the causal element. Now, I think I may have further evidence as to why my distaste grows daily.

Elvis Costello now officially looks like...

Matt Drudge

Separated at Birth

Lesse...you got this chick from The Office

and then you've got Monica Goodling.

Both of them miserable suppressed twats. More dirt on "the new right" Monica here.

Sidney

For those of you familiar with the storied career of one Sid Vicious, I give you Steve Bell's take on Mr. Blair...

Oh, and in case you've forgotten the zeitgeist that WAS Sidney, here's a clip of the fabulous disaster himself.

The AHS

Although I'm a little late to the dance on this one, it's still Be Kind To Animals Week through the weekend.

Of course, we should all be kind to all critters all the time.


Especially the mighty, mighty North American Grey Squirrel.

Friday Random Ten

Tales From the Riverbank---The Jam

The City is Here for You---The Futureheads

One by One All Day---The Shins

Intimate Secretary---The Raconteurs

So Lonely---The Police

The Government Darling---Spoon

Fire in the Canyon---Fountains of Wayne

Combat---Sleater-Kinney

Bubble, Pop, Electric---Gwen Stefani

Torn Curtain---Television

And a bonus Lily Allen Video that's right clever.

Effin' Libruls

Your Liberal Media yet again reporting their "fairandbalanced" side of the story in Iraq.

First there's this from NY Newsday. They put the number of Muqtada supporters at 1,000.

Yeah, well. I dunno. How many dudes do you figure are in this picture from yesterday? Looks to be a titch more than a grand wouldn't you say?...

Joe

Yesterday was Joe Strummer Day in the U.K. I sure hope this film comes to li'l old Cleveland.

Here's a link to the trailer.

Oh, and here is the other reason...

...that Hillary shouldn't be elected President.

From this month's Harper's Magazine

Umm, this is pretty much why I hope that I will be voting for John Edwards next year.

Late last week, Senator Hillary Clinton offered a bill that would effectively revoke the 2002 congressional authorization that allowed the Bush Administration to wage war in Iraq, and require the president to convince Congress to re-approve the war this October. It’s the latest step taken by Clinton to establish herself as the Democratic Party’s anti-war candidate. If she’d only known in 2002 what she knows now, she has repeatedly said, she would never have supported the earlier resolution.

At its essence, Clinton is saying that the Bush Administration tricked her into voting for the war resolution. “I Was Duped” is hardly an inspiring slogan, and in Hillary’s case it’s a thoroughly disingenuous one as well. She wasn’t duped. She was playing the polls, and at the time she concluded that a vote for war was the smart bet.

Take a look at Clinton’s October 10, 2002, floor speech in which she authorized the use of force against Iraq. She didn’t just side with the Bush Administration, she more or less endorsed its entire case for war:

Intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program . . .

If left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons. Should he succeed in that endeavor, he could alter the political and security landscape of the Middle East, which as we know all too well affects American security.

While acknowledging that there was no evidence to tie Saddam to the September 11 attacks, she said he had “given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including Al Qaeda members,” and went on to say:

This is probably the hardest decision I have ever had to make–any vote that may lead to war should be hard–but I cast it with conviction. Over eleven years have passed since the U.N. called on Saddam Hussein to rid himself of weapons of mass destruction as a condition of returning to the world community. Time and time again he has frustrated and denied these conditions. This matter cannot be left hanging forever with consequences we would all live to regret . . . A vote for it is not a vote to rush to war; it is a vote that puts awesome responsibility in the hands of our President and we say to him - use these powers wisely and as a last resort. And it is a vote that says clearly to Saddam Hussein–this is your last chance–disarm or be disarmed.

“I Was Duped” is hardly an inspiring slogan and in Hillary’s case it’s a thoroughly disingenuous one as well.

Dick Cheney could hardly have put it better. Now compare Clinton’s remarks with those made by other prominent Democrats during the runup to war. Even if they believed that Saddam had WMDs, many of Clinton’s Democratic colleagues opposed the war and challenged the administration’s case for an invasion. Take Al Gore during a September 23, 2002 speech in San Francisco:

The resulting chaos in the aftermath of a military victory in Iraq could easily pose a far greater danger to the United States than we presently face from Saddam. Here’s why I say that; we know that he has stored away secret supplies of biological weapons and chemical weapons throughout his country. As yet, we have no evidence, however, that he has shared any of those weapons with terrorist groups. If the administration has evidence that he has, please present it, because that would change the way we all look at this thing.

Senator Edward Kennedy’s speech in Washington on September 27 rejected just about every argument tossed out by President Bush.

Information from the intelligence community over the past six months does not point to Iraq as an imminent threat to the United States or a major proliferator of weapons of mass destruction. I have heard no persuasive evidence that Saddam is on the threshold of acquiring the nuclear weapons he has sought for more than 20 years. And the administration has offered no persuasive evidence that Saddam would transfer chemical or biological weapons of mass destruction to Al Qaeda or any other terrorist organization. As General Joseph Hoar, the former Commander of Central Command told the members of the Armed Services Committee, a case has not been made to connect Al Qaeda and Iraq . . . To the contrary, there is no clear and convincing pattern of Iraqi relations with either Al Qaeda or the Taliban.

When Hillary cast her “yes” vote “with conviction” a few weeks later, Kennedy and 22 other Democratic senators (and a majority of Democrats in the House) rejected the use-of-force resolution.

“The question,” Senator Patrick Leahy said during the debate on the vote, “is not whether Saddam Hussein should be disarmed; it is how imminent is this threat and how should we deal with it?” Leahy continued:

The resolution now before the Senate leaves the door open to act alone, even absent an imminent threat. It surrenders to the President authority which the Constitution explicitly reserves for the Congress . . . Many respected and knowledgeable people–former senior military officers and diplomats among them–have expressed strong reservations about this resolution. They agree that if there is credible evidence that Saddam Hussein is planning to use weapons of mass destruction against the United States or one of our allies, the American people and the Congress would overwhelmingly support the use of American military power to stop him. But they have not seen that evidence, and neither have I. We have heard a lot of bellicose rhetoric, but what are the facts? I am not asking for 100 percent proof, but the administration is asking Congress to make a decision to go to war based on conflicting statements, angry assertions, and assumption based on speculation. This is not the way a great nation goes to war.

Then there was Robert Byrd, who unsuccessfully tried to mount a filibuster against the resolution, which he described as “the Tonkin Gulf resolution all over again”:

The resolution before us today is not only a product of haste; it is also a product of presidential hubris. This resolution is breathtaking in its scope. It redefines the nature of defense, and reinterprets the Constitution to suit the will of the Executive Branch. It would give the President blanket authority to launch a unilateral preemptive attack on a sovereign nation that is perceived to be a threat to the United States.

Byrd rejected the administration’s arguments about Saddam posing an imminent WMD threat and noted that no one “has been able to produce any solid evidence linking Iraq to the September 11 attack.” He also said that any overthrow of the Iraqi regime “would require a long term occupation,” and that this “kind of nation-building cannot be accomplished with the wave of a wand by some fairy godmother, even one with the full might and power of the world’s last remaining superpower behind her.”

So here are some questions for Hillary:

Other Democrats knew. Why didn’t you?
Why did you trust President Bush more than you trusted top figures in your own party?
Did you, in fact, vote for the war resolution on the basis of polling numbers and political calculations about an expected future run for the presidency?
And finally, if you won’t vote your conscience on questions of war and peace, when will you?

The answer to that last question is “never.” A recent Washington Post story on Mark Penn, Clinton’s pollster, described him as taking “taking increasing control” of her presidential campaign. “Armed with voluminous data that he collects through his private polling firm, Penn has become involved in virtually every move Clinton makes, with the result that the campaign reflects the chief strategist as much as the candidate,” the Post said. “If Clinton seems cautious, it may be because Penn has made caution a science, repeatedly testing issues to determine which ones are safe and widely agreed upon.”

Random Ten

It's podtastic.

Blink and You'll Miss It--Paul Weller

Favourite Hour--Elvis Costello

End Over End--Foo Fighters

Clean like Tomorrow--X

Rewind--Sterophonics

In Bloom--Nirvana

Street Waves--Pere Ubu

Sly--The Cat Empire

Headlights on a Dark Road--Snow Patrol

River of Orchids--XTC

Last Night's Republican debate

Oh, and speaking of DEVO, (see post below this one), check out the video of the non-opposable thumbs of these morons running for Preznit who don't believe in evolution.

Sheesh.

3352 GIs killed in Iraq...

And 4 dead in Ohio. The event that turned the opinion of the nation against the war was 37 years ago today.

What will be the current day happening that will change the course of the current conflict? Let's hope that it's not as tragic as that day in May at Kent State.

Jerry Casale from DEVO remembers...

Whatever I would say would probably not at all touch upon the significance or gravity of the situation at this point of time--it would probably sound trite or glib. All I can tell you is that it completely and utterly changed my life.

I was a white hippie boy and then I saw exit wounds from M1 rifles out of the backs of two people I knew. Two of the four people who were killed, Jeffrey Miller and Allison Krause, were my friends. We were all running our asses off from these motherfuckers. It was total, utter bullshit. Live ammunition and gasmasks - none of us knew, none of us could have imagined... They shot into a crowd that was running away from them! I stopped being a hippie and I started to develop the idea of devolution. I got real, real pissed off.

I still remember it so crystal clear, like a dream you will never forget . . . or a nightmare. I still remember every moment. It kind of went in slow motion like a car accident.

The Kent State shootings sort of served as a catalyst for your theory of Devolution, which spawned Devo-- Until then I was a hippie. I thought that the world is essentially good. If people were evil, there was justice...and that the law mattered. All of those silly naïve things. I saw the depths of the horrors and lies and the evil. The paper that evening, the Akron Beacon Journal, said that students were running around armed and that officers had been hurt. So deputy sheriffs went out and deputized citizens. They drove around with shotguns and there was martial law for ten days. 7 PM curfew.

It was open season on the students. We lived in fear. Helicopters surrounding the city with hourly rotating runs out to the West Side and back downtown. All first amendment rights are suspended at the instant the governor gives the order. All of the class-action suits by the parents of the slain students were all dismissed out of court, because once the governor announced martial law, they had no right to assemble.

Resign already!

Scarecrow, over at the ever impressive Fire Dog Lake, is firing on all cylinders this a.m.

Go. Read. It.

Birthday Boy

Hey everybody! It's Jack the Dog's 14th Birthday today. All hail Jack!

This video is cool

It 'splains the whole history of information flow from the lowly pencil to today's Intertubes.

Like I said, pretty cool.

Your Librul Media

Read it and weep folks.

Ya know, even though Bush's ratings are in the toilet compared to 4 years ago, there remains a strong message out there amongst the chattering classes that Commander Codpiece is a "man's man". This continues to be a great problem in our Potemkin Nation.

Little Chrissy Mathews is quoted in the article,

MATTHEWS: We're proud of our president. Americans love having a guy as president, a guy who has a little swagger, who's physical, who's not a complicated guy like [former President Bill] Clinton or even like [former Democratic presidential candidates Michael] Dukakis or [Walter] Mondale, all those guys, [George] McGovern. They want a guy who's president. Women like a guy who's president. Check it out. The women like this war. I think we like having a hero as our president. It's simple. We're not like the Brits. We don't want an indoor prime minister type, or the Danes or the Dutch or the Italians, or a [Russian Federation President Vladimir] Putin. Can you imagine Putin getting elected here? We want a guy as president.

Oh, and just in case you're keeping score, Putin is a world class Judo expert who could no doubt kick the fratboy ass of Chimpy McBikeShorts.

Shucks. Why do I hate Amurka?...